Disability jokes
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"