Disability jokes

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

What do you call a disabled Arab?

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.

What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.