Disability jokes
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
ayo????
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).