Disability jokes

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

What do you call a disabled Arab?

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.

Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?

Because there is no ramp to heaven.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Not Bob.

What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.