Disability jokes
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."