Disability jokes
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.