Disability jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
I bought a book for my blind friend.