Disability jokes
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.