Disability jokes

An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.

Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?

A: A creepy crawly.

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?

They are always swinging a stick.

Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?

He could not get up the stairs?

What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.

A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the wifi.

I can’t stand disabled jokes...

Neither can they 😂

What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?

Caregiver.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.