Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Disability Jokes
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
