Disability jokes
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.