Disability jokes
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Memes
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?