Disability jokes
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Memes
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.