Disability jokes

How do you know when Helen Keller is home?

Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?

Wheelchair.

Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?

Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.

(She's blind and deaf)

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

A: So she can moan with the other.

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.