Disability jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
There may be hope for Stephen Hawking yet.
His nose runs.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
An autistic kid.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.