Disability jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.