Disability jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.