Disability jokes
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.