Disability jokes
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Helen Keller.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.