Dinner

Dinner jokes

Giraffe

  • Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

  • 1
  • Mom

  • It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

    Son

  • Son: What's for dinner tonight?

    Mom: Steak!

    Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

    Mom: HUNGER!

    Day

  • Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

    Parent

  • What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

    The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

    The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

    Thanks for reading this...bye!

    Steak

  • What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?

    "Just ate a tasty steak!"

  • 2
  • Meth

  • You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

    Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

  • 2
  • Baby

  • Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

    So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

    "That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

  • 1
  • Hunter

  • Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

    After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

    The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

    Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

    Yo Momma

  • Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

    Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

    Sister

  • My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

    I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

  • 0