Dining jokes
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.
Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.
Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.
Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.
Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.
Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.
In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.
With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?