Dining jokes
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.