Dining jokes

What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Because there is no family.

Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?

A: On The Border.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?

"Dine and dash."

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.

Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?

Good food, but no atmosphere.

Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.

Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!