Dilemma jokes
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.