Dictionary jokes
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
So he could drop some WORDPLAY.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.