Newest Devil Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator
1.Stand silently and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
2.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and
while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in
there?"
3.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to
pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
4.Leave a box in the corner, and when some-
one gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
5.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a
while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
6.Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and
back away slowly.
7.Greet everyone with a warm handshake and
ask them to call you Admiral.
8.Dress up as the devil and then ask other
people as they get in, "Going down?"
9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you
have an appointment?"
10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a
more suitable host body."

I made a deal with the devil.
He took my legs, but I still
think it was worth it.

Lucifers so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units

Chuck Norris once went to hell. After that the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me? He didn't give me any. I was made by the devil.

What's the opposite thing of an exorcism? .

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child....

Some people say I like heights other say Im a dare devil

In reality I like killing myself

my mum is a vegan. she brings us to after school seitan

i made a deal with satan. i would get a free pass to hell, if i serve as a demon lord. so, see you guys at the end of times!

What's the difference between a catholic priest and the devil?? The devil always has horns... not just around children

You are so ugly when the devil saw u he said Jesus Christ

The devils number is 346 because you will be in jail.

God=what I hope to be Devil=what I can't accept

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".

Oooh, I fall apart Oooh, yeah, mmhmm She told me that I'm not enough, yeah And she left me with a broken heart, yeah She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought