My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

they both look good hanging from a tree

Where did jonny go during the bombing Everywhere

when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore

  • What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …
  • A FLATLINE!

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

Can Orphans go to a Family Restaurant?

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

life’s too short to want it.

you

roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u

What do you call a Sad Depressed Artist? Anything But Cows of Woe.

An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can’t reach it so she calls her son for help a few minutes later son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- slips and noose chokes her to death

knock knock who’s there? depression… that’s my best friend.

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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