Depression jokes

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

What do you call a high school student?

Alone and depressed.

Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Depression medicine and therapy.

GO AWAY!

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

A: Nothing! He was hung over.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.

If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?

I am glass! People see right through me.

What's both red, white and sometimes purple?

My arms...

My friend has a dry sense of humor.

Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.

What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.

I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.

(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.