Me: trys to scan self at walmart* i cant scan myself, wanna know why? Alfred: Why? Me: because im worthless... =)
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: seeing others happy Doctor : ok so what makes you happy? Me: seeing stupid people in misery or agony Doctor: Well that's rather sadistic. Me: well statistically one in two doctors have fingerd a child... Doctor: do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy? Me: there's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
Being sad is my only happiness
Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
Me: Mom I'm tired
Mom:then go to sleep
Me: No you don't understand-
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
What did the rope say to me?
"hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think well better luck next time.
I Am glass! People see right through me.
The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.
They say people are 75% water But I'm 100% useless
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don't it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The Apple falls from the tree