Depression Jokes

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school

Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey

Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

I wish i could be as visible as my depression is.

Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : *raises hand* Teacher : ... The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*

My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i'm going

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i've got a great spot! me: *grabs nuce and runs to my closet*

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*

When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

1273 depression got the best of me, i'm gonna cry in my room now

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

why did the depressed person cross the road.

to get ran over.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."