Depression jokes
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.