Depression jokes
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.