Depression

Depression jokes

Dad

    • My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

    Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

    Hypocrisy

    • Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

    Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

    Some time later me fighting with my mom:

    Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

    Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

    Lesson?

    So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

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    • Noose

    • It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

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    • Misunderstanding

    • A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

    Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

    Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

    RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

    Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

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    • Closet

    • What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

    They both have something hanging in their closet.

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    • Poison

    • A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

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    • Bang

    • "Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

    "Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

    "Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.