Denomination jokes

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."

Did you hear about the Mormons?

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

What is God’s favorite candy?

Jesus Pieces.

What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

Denise.

What more is there to say?