Denomination jokes

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."

Did you hear about the Mormons?

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

What is God’s favorite candy?

Jesus Pieces.

What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.

I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.