Denomination jokes

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."

Did you hear about the Mormons?

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

What is God’s favorite candy?

Jesus Pieces.

What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.