Day Jokes

Anonymous
in Calculator

Sally had (69) boobs witch was (2,2,2) many (69222)so she went to the doctor on (51)st street ( 6922251) whom gave her pills she took (x8) times a day and now she is boobless

Daves Orphanage ✔️
in Orphanage

Guys we gotta stop telling these jokes they are getting out of h- oh wait no …. Continue

Yo daddy so stupid he threw a father’s day party at the orphanage

What did the catholic priest say to the other catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? 
Let’s us prey.

Anonymous
in History

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like: Jackson: CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION???

Lebron James's best chum
in Ball

The day I saw people asking lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like : wait so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.

IANNMOORPHEE
in Emo

i scanned an emo girl’s arm the other day. Now i own her, only 3.99 with tax. Thats a steal and a half woopeeee!

Anonymous
in South Park

“I’m sorry, Wendy, but I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”

Anonymous

why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

Dinosaurrrrrrrrř

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn’t have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Anus McDickNuggets
in Roast

By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.

2Aussie

I’m afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a life if you LOL at this joke!

One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

I went to the super market one day and i saw a cEAsor salad for 69 dollars next minute someone comes up to me and says CAESOR DEEZ NUTZ

R6_RENEGADE ON TWITCH
in Man

I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life

OK son", he says. It’s as easy as counting to 5.

  1. Pull down your pants.
  2. Pull back your foreskin.
  3. Pee in the toilet.
  4. Put your foreskin back.
  5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying “2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4”.