i just realized my birthday is the same day i was born
one day my dog died because we couldn't find him then we got a cat on the same day then my cat went missing and when I was crying we heard are Asian neighbour was having a party then we went over and i saw my dog and cat on the grill and they eat them. in front of me saying yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed, turns out the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have: Mothers, fathers, and family day!
What do you call field day in Africa?
The hunger games
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? Do you want to go home.
my mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT me: what's for dinner Mom and Dad: food The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD my brother and sister what's for dinner: mr: food ;-;
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on mother's day....
wanna know something the orphan could never do
wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day
A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sibling" Santa Claus wrote him back and said "okay, send me your mother"
whys a orphan's least favorite day field trip day because they can't get a parents signature
