Day Jokes

It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

To anyone who wants to be my friend:

Hello.

Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!

Alex <3

How was your day, Freshfry?

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

The image shows four students in a classroom setting. The first student appears alert, the second is less so, the third is slouching, and the last is completely slumped over with their head on the desk. The text on the image reads "Going back to school. First day. First week. First month. Exams."

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?

Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.