Darkness jokes
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
dark humor lightens my mood (or not…)
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.