Dark jokes
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
In the realm of Danny, Ben, and Paxton, A trio of souls intertwined, Their stories woven with grace and might, A tale of friendship, ethereal and fine.
Danny, the dreamer with stars in his eyes, Chasing visions that danced in his mind, With every thought, a world he'd create, A poet, an artist, one of a kind.
Ben Power, the steadfast, a force to behold, With strength that could move mountains high, His heart, a fortress, unyielding and bold, A protector, a guardian, forever nigh.
Paxton, the wanderer, a spirit untamed, Roaming free wherever the wind blew, In every step, a new adventure claimed, A seeker, a nomad, forever anew.
Together they stood, a harmonic blend, Different paths converging as one, In the depths of their bond, a love unfurled, A symphony played, forever sung.
Through trials and triumphs, they faced the storm, Hand in hand, against the tempest's might, With laughter, tears, and hearts so warm, They shared the darkness, embracing the light.
Oh, Danny, Ben, and Paxton, forever bound, Through the pages of life, your stories unfold, In the tapestry of friendships profound, Your spirits, like poetry, forever bold.
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Dark humor is like a child with cancer...
Never gets old.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.