I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
