Dais jokes

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and a driver’s education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.