Dais jokes
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
I shouted "Jenga" in class today.
We were watching clips of 9/11.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
How was your day, Freshfry?
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?