Dais jokes

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.

At the end of the day, it's night.

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

How's your day going?

Shut up, I didn't ask.

Use code tiko#teamfish

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?

"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.