Dais jokes
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?
Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.
Memes
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Good Morning Everyone! Have a good day!
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
This is a bad day for me.
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."