Dais jokes

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Good Morning Everyone! Have a good day!

What month of the year has 28 days?

Answer: All of them.

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

I got to work.

Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.

Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.

Boss: Have a nice day.

Ben: Ok, bye!

Boss:??

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."