Dad jokes

What do you call an octopus dad?

An octodad.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?

Good food, but no atmosphere.

I'm serious, what's a "dad?"

What is a "dad?"

Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?

Because it was her dad.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Shin-gles!

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

My life.

"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."

Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.