Culture jokes
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
Emos love jumping for joy.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
We can only see 90 degrees.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.