How u know if a comedian is high. Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road because he wasn’t chicken
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
