Cross jokes
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!