Crisis

Crisis jokes

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

  • 2