Crack jokes

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

Yo mama so ugly,

my screen cracked when she took her photo!

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

There is a country in Africa. It's called Djibouti. It has a crack in it!

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.