New Covid Jokes

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19? She lost her taste.

All countries will get Covid Except China they got it right off the bat

How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

COVID-19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

My girlfriend got covid

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID

none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

i just got my COVID vaccine and this lady said you have no idea what you put in your body and.i said yet you are eating chorizo.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.