Covid jokes

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.

Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.