Covid jokes
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son, Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.
"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"
"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.