Covid jokes

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

Like if you are scared of Covid-19.

The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.

He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!

What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?

I couldn't give a fuck about either.

What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

What did COVID say to the American?

Nothing, it just took its breath away...

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).

My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.

They both went extinct.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.

Your bitch has Covid-19.

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.