Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
who is the coolest vegetable rad-ish of course
Fat bully. That was just the starter now do you want the main course
Me. I dont think I want that because you already ate it
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition of course but they both pack the same heat.
Woman: will you luv me after marriage as well?
Man:That will depend on ur husband. If he will, so of course i would!!!
What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
My favorite instrument? the TromBONE, of course.
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they arn't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! lol
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked. "Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied. "Heard of what?" "Herd of cows." "Of course I've heard of cows." "No, a cow herd." "What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
i hate it when people think im a boy because of my short hair i mean what did you expect im gay of course i have short hair
/{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discus courses of action, and collection." End of log\
I had a dissability where I kept pronouncing my g as an r, so one day, I said I liked Grapes. Of course, I pronounced it I like Rapes. I was kicked out of preshool.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes
Why did god create women with pussies? because 1. of-course, God is a MAN. 2. of-course, he isn't gay & 3. of-course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)
Why did every one quit the high school volleyball team: To join COACH KYLE"S team of course.
A cop saw an old lady carring two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash. "How did you get all this?" asked the cop. "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grapped by hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that nobody pees in my yard ever again." The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?" She said, "Not everybody paid."
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
10-Putt!
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily rhe Husky were talking at Bob's jouse Lily: Bob do you think I'm fat? Bob: No Lily, of course not! Your just a little husky!!!! Lol Golden Retrievers are funny.
