Corrections jokes

Phone Call

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

Memes

Explanation

3 years ago

heh

A meme showing Neo from "The Matrix" in three panels. In the first panel, a stack of papers says "Choose the correct answer." The second panel shows Neo looking unimpressed, saying, "You can't scare me with thi-". In the third panel, the stack of papers says "And explain why.", which makes Neo look panicked.

American

7 months ago

A young man with glasses and short brown hair is sitting in front of a red, smoky background, making a smug or slightly smirking face. He is wearing a dark polo shirt and has his hands on a chessboard with pieces arranged. The text above him reads: 'how Americans feel after correcting a Balkan guy who learned English as his 17th language'.

Tanjiro

3 years ago

Meme:

An image shows the left side of an Uno card with the text "PRONOUNCE 'TANJIRO' CORRECTLY OR draw 25" on it. The right side shows a person at a table holding playing cards and wearing an Inosuke mask from the anime Demon Slayer.

Toilet

2 years ago

The translation is correct. Toilet for disabled person shouldn't be called toilet. It should be:

A sign with the universal symbol for handicap accessibility, below which it reads "DEFORMED MAN TOILET".

So true

A man with a slight frown and a tilted head looking at the camera. The text above and below his head says, "I AM SILENTLY CORRECTING YOUR GRAMMAR."

Short People

2 years ago

Short people, opinions?

The image shows a three-panel meme. The first two panels show stick figures interacting in ways that are marked with a red X as 'Wrong'. The third panel shows two anime-style characters kissing, marked with a green checkmark as 'Correct'. The text above the figures reads: "How to talk to short people:".

People

2 years ago

The image shows two illustrations with the text "How to talk to short people:". The left illustration is labeled "Wrong" and shows a person bending down to talk to another person. The right illustration is labeled "Correct" and shows one person grabbing another person by the neck to be at the same height.

Snail

1 year ago

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

Dog

1 year ago

The image shows a message conversation. The first message says 'Hi Dexter is dead' and the time is shown as 10:10. The second message says 'Hi Dexter is ready now!! Sorry stupid auto correct' and the time is shown as 10:11. Below the messages there is a picture of a dog on a leash.

Grammar

1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media conversation. The first message is from dion-thesocialist, who apologizes for correcting people's grammar. The second message is from rakshar, who forgives them. The last message is from dion-thesocialist, who thanks rakshar for being sweet.

Corrections memes

Community

Another New Blach

7 months ago

@matt, we needs mods. Ppl say you spend more time on Sw than here and idk if that's true, but with the lack of you, and the Mods you oversee. We really do need them. I probably don't need to do this, but in my eye a request is more lightly meaningful the more evidence you give, so here are the main reasons, (in no particular order) and who is the most trustworthy and eligible for being a Mod, I'm my eyes, and I'd li… Read more

Matcha

1 year ago

Poll

Dogs or Cats (only one correct answer)

Anonymous

1 year ago

Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more

Community