One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
