Conversation jokes

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.

"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.

"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.

"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."

"And then?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"

"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

The clock struck one!

Then down did come!

Hickory dickory doc

What am I?

Random- a mouse?

Me- no dumb shit!

Random- what is it?

Me- the guillotine!

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

How are you?

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

What's the worst joke you ever heard?

What the can say to the tomato?

Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾

I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."

So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like you're having a rough day, tell me about it?"

The man then stood up and became Mario!

Me: Hey, what book are you reading?

Him: "The Twisted Ones."

Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

I don't want to taco about myself.

Jokes...

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.