I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
why does doctor pepper come in a bottle?
his wife died
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What kind of chocolate does lesbian hate? Ones that contain nuts.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.... The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.
*Principal:* What is 3+3?
*Boy:* 6.
*Principal:* 6+6.
*Boy:* 12.
The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
*Boy:* Legs.
*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?
*Boy:* Pockets.
*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
*Boy:* Coconut.
*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge
*Boy:* Bubble gum.
*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
*Boy:* Tent.
*The principal was looking restless*
*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
*Boy:* Wedding ring.
*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
*Boy:* Nose.
*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
*Boy:* Arrow.
*Principal:* O MY GOD.
*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?
*Boy:* Fork.
*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
*Boy:* Surname.
*Principal:* Ohooo !
*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
*Boy:* Heart.
*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them contained their value after getting wrecked.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene !!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
Scp 173 has breached containment this is not a joke multiple keter class scps have breached containment this is an xk class event evacuate the earth and solar system the world is ending
Hey, you wanna hear something funny
AN atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Dont trust the internet kids.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh. he never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
*Enter password*
'ScoobyDoo'
"Password must contain special character"
'ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman'
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in? Vat-I-Cans !!!
why do mountains contain things? because their moun tains