Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
A: Because it has no home button.
Consumerism Jokes
There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Why do all orphans buy an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.
Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.
A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.
In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.
He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.
So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
