Consequence

Consequence jokes

Kid

    • Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

    Kid: “Whatever!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

    Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

    Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

    Kid: “Oh well!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

    Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

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    • Diarrhea

    • There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

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    • Mob

    • Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

    A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

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    • Consequence memes

    Genie

    • This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

    The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

    The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

    The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

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    • Flip-flop

    • Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.

    Me: Ok.

    *Ring*

    Me: Opens the door.

    Oh sh*t!

    Mom: Gets flip flop.

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    • Ice Cream

    • A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

    When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

    A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

    The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

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    • Bullying

    • Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

    Murder

    • When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

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    • Rape

    • What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?

    "You are a consequence of rape!"

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    • Hopscotch

    • A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

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