Confusion

Confusion jokes

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

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    • I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

    Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

    How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

    I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...

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    • Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.

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    • After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

    ...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

    370HSSV 0773H

    All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

    One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

    "Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

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    • There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.

    One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"

    "Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.

    "I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.

    "Are you mad?" The police asked.

    "Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.

    "Where's your brain?" Asked the police.

    "At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.

    A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."

    The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"

    So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

    One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

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