Computer jokes
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? So they can at least build a home.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Guess McAfee doesn’t clear all computer viruses.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.