Computer jokes
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Fucking Windows updates!
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Memes
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
Joe.