Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.