Comparison

Comparison jokes

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In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

  • 4

    • what's the difference between hitler and you?

    one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

  • 8

    • What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

    What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

    One's a good year and one's a great year.

    The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.

  • 2

    • I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

    What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

    One of them knows the definition of no.

  • 0

    • What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?

    Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

    How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

    Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

    Me and my brother talking about relationships.

    Me: We live kind of differently.

    Brother: We're sort of alike.

    Me: We're not alike.

    Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

    My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

    What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

    None.

    They're both imaginary.

    What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?