Comparison jokes
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.