Comparison jokes
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Yo, your hairline look like a cup.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.