Comparison jokes
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.