Common jokes
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.