Common jokes
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.